37 Weeks..ECV and Hospital Prep for Induction

Right after 36 weeks we went for our last growth ultra sound.....baby measuring 6 lbs 10oz! Not too bad! 60th percentile. I was fearful because of the diabetes that she might be really big, and already being breech, they would just schedule a C-Section.

Last Christmas Eve was a big day for us! We went to the hospital for the External Cephalic Version (ECV) and it was successful!!! Amazing! The baby had been breech for so long. We had anti-natal testing yesterday and thus far she is still head down! Fingers crossed that she stays that way! The ECV was a lot of pressure.....but I have good amniotic fluid levels, so I know that helped her to turn. I had my husband video it too. It's really cool to see! You can see her flip from the outside! A lot of people told me how horribly uncomfortable it was so I was scared, but in the end, child birth is much worse, so I could handle it.

I see my insulin requirements dropping once again. I don't know if this is because the placenta is not having to work as hard?

I had a sit down with the diabetes nurse in labor and delivery a couple of weeks ago to go over what my insulin requirements will be if and when I go on an insulin drip in the delivery room. After my first delivery I was not happy with the generic form they used to decide how much insulin I would get every hour and for corrections of my blood sugar. Every Type 1 is at different levels by the end of their pregnancy and I want to make sure those insulin levels will work for me so I'm not running high like I was last time. This time I am choosing to be in more control of my sugars than last time. It was better that the nurses, doctors and I agreed on this ahead of time instead of trying to fight them in the hospital. I wanted to make sure I was very clear how things will be handled with me and my diabetes. I feel more comfortable going into the induction now.

This Sunday is the BIG Day! We are going in for an amnio to see if the babies lungs are mature. If they are they will induce labor that day! If not, they will give me a shot of steroids to mature the lungs and then induce labor 2 days later. I'm hoping for a "natural" delivery as opposed to a c-section, but you never know what might happen!

Here's to a great end of the year, a near end of our fertility journey and to an amazing 2013!!

35 weeks- Placenta has kicked back in and ECV

After thinking my placenta was plateauing, it sure has kicked back in! I am definitely at a 1:2 carb ratio for breakfast now (before pregnancy I was at 1:10) and lunch and dinner I am 1:4 and 1:5 +2. It's crazy how quickly it happened too!

I have realized that I have to be very careful with what I eat. I ate white pasta one evening this week and another night a regular crust pizza (2 small pieces) and my blood sugars were elevated for so many hours after!! It took 6+ hours these nights for sugars to come down....so once again I will not be eating these items during pregnancy. I hadn't had them at all and thought I'd give them a try. BAD idea. I have had whole wheat pasta and thin crust pizza a couple of times and those didn't affect me nearly as bad. So I can refrain for another couple of weeks.:)

My Exterbak Cephalic Version (ECV) is scheduled for next Monday the 24th of Dec. I regretfully "Dr. Googled" the procedure and now I am more fearful to go into it. I have a growth U/S on Thurs and an appointment with my doctor so I will ask them about the risks. It sounds so uncomfortable too!!! I'm just hoping she will flip on her own first. Say a prayer for me!! (thanks!) I am wondering if I will have to take out my insulin pump too? I hate that I am having to change my inset every day now. It is so hard and sometimes so painful to find a good spot that works. Maybe due to the increased blood in my body, my insets are making me bleed much more often and I am bruising more on my stomach. It gets frustrating. Sometimes I have to use 4 insets just to get one that feels right and good nowadays. Ouch!

Looking forward to Thursday to see how big this little one might be!!

34 Weeks- Insulin Plateauing and Breech Baby

34 weeks along! I can't believe it. My insulin needs have been plateauing over the past week, which is something that I do not remember from my first pregnancy. My doctors say that my placenta is realizing that it's job is almost done, so it's not requiring as many hormones, therefore as much insulin. I've actually had to back off a bit on my basal rates. I don't know if it will continue or not??

I got my last A1C back....4.8%! I was pleasantly surprised!! I have had some lows, but not a lot. The doctors see my numbers every week and have been very happy with them! I have had few high numbers and if it is elevated, I get it down very quickly. I will change my inset if I don't see a change within an hour usually...or if my sugar rises. But overall I'm happy with that result! I guess the testing 20 times a day (ouch! lol) is paying off:)

And now the little one is Breech....;/ she has 2 weeks to turn before they do an external version. This is where they will try to turn the baby from the outside of my stomach. If it doesn't work, they will schedule a c-section. On the day of the c-section they will give me a spinal tap and then try to turn her one more time. If it works, they will induce natural labor (vaginal delivery) and if not, they will proceed with the c-section. I'm praying that she turns on her own! Until then, I'm visiting the chiropractor and acupuncturist to help. Fingers crossed!

32 weeks and Anti Natal Testing begins

The insulin resistance continues! At the end of my last pregnancy I was at a 1:3 carb ratio and now it's slowly creeping upwards and I'm only 32 weeks! I'm at about a 1:3 +1 carb ratio in the am now. The rest of the day isn't as bad, about a 1:6-1:8. But my fasting sugars have been a really big issue. I keep waking up between 140-170. The doctors and I have upped my basals, which will do me great for 1 or 2 mornings, then I'm up again. My sugars are decent the rest of the day. The doctors don't ever seem freaked out (though I do a bit)....they think I'm doing a great job. I guess they see more diabetics in pregnancy than I have experience with, so all I can do to relax about it is trust them. I used to be at a .950 in the morning about 5am for my basal rate. I am currently at 1.7!! It's crazy how insulin resistant pregnancy can make you! My correction has doubled in the am too!

So we had our 32 week growth Ultra Sound on Wednesday...so far so good, but a Big baby!! She's averaging in the 77th percentile! Already 5.3 lbs! Her head and abdomen are in the 95th percentile!!! The doctors don't look at those numbers, but the overall average they told me. She's also currently Breech so let's hope that she turns within the next 4 weeks! Turn baby Turn!:) I don't know how I feel right now about a C-Section......

When I left the doctors office I was more nervous and freaked out rather than excited. That seems like a BIG baby to me! My Endo office called later and they said it was totally fine after the numbers I told them. They baby's size is not diabetes related. So during Thanksgiving yesterday I asked my family how big all the babies were....my family makes BIG babies!! LOL. We range from 8 lbs to 10 lbs 5 oz!! So she's right on track!

My Anti-Natal testing starts next week and I will go twice a week until I deliver. This really makes me feel like I'm getting into the home stretch! I know I won't be completely comfortable and relaxed though until she's here in my arms. The anti natal testing will monitor and track the heart rate, contractions and movements of the baby.

Not too much longer...soon my fingers will get a break from the 15-20x+ a day of testing!! But it will have all been worth it!

30 Weeks...High fastings & Induction Date Set

I can't believe I'm already at 30 weeks! It's been slow, yet fast at the same time. I have a little kick boxer in training moving around in there! I'm slowly starting to get more and more excited! The baby is definitely sitting low and causing me more discomfort this time. Sleep is getting harder too...which is to be expected! Still having to take my Zofran Every day.....

The doctors think I've been doing really well with my sugars, sometimes even being too hard on myself. I've only had a few numbers in the 200's. I've definitely had high 100's, but they don't seem as concerned about them as I do. They tell me they get more concerned with people whose sugars are in teh 200's-300's and they don't correct right away. I think the most difficult time of day for me is the AM. I've been waking with a high fasting for the past week or two. I usually catch it and correct right away, but I get super frustrated. More probably because I can't find the right pattern in my sugars to correct it overnight. I usually test around 2am and 5am and then when I wake between 7-9am. I've been low and higher at different times throughout the night so without being able to find a pattern, all I can do is the consistent testing to stay on top of it. Frustrating!!

My pump was having problems over the weekend so I had to get a replacement sent to me overnight on Monday. I would change the battery and the screen wouldn't come back on! I checked the batteries and they were all good. Thankfully it came back on again and I didn't have to switch to my Lantus backup. I've Never done Lanus so I had to call my doctors and figure out what my emergency plan would be just in case. Thankfully I didn't take that route!

An induction date has been set! It's funny, it's almost like calling up to order a pizza delivery. LOL "Yes, this date, this time please"...woo hoo! So my 37 weeks when they would like to induce me is the day after Christmas.....so we pushed it out a few days to Dec 30th! I will go in and they will do an amnio to see if the lungs are developed...if not, I get a shot of steroids and stay in the hospital and have them induce me 2 days later. If the lungs are ready they will induce me that day!

Sugar Mommas!! The Type 1 moms group that I started will meet again this weekend. Very exciting! You can find us on Facebook if you're local and would ever like to join!
www.facebook.com/type1diabeticsugarmommas

My Anti-Natal testing starts soon! 2 more weeks and a growth ultra sound right before Thanksgiving!!

28 Weeks: Growth Ultra Sound, Rhogam and More Resistance

Had our 28 week Ultra Sound today and she's growing well! With Type 1's they are concerned the baby will get to be too big if sugars are not controlled, but my doctor told me that a lot of Type 1's end up having smaller babies. Well as of today we're measuring in the 73%. I asked my doctor if I should be concerned and she said no, it's actually great where we are at since most Type 1's tend to have smaller babies as mentioned. So that made me feel better. I've been doing my best to keep good control with my sugars and if the baby was larger because of my diabetes, I don't feel that I could make my sugars any better at this time to change that.

Insulin resistance is just getting more and more every couple of days. I was told to expect this until about 34 weeks and then it should level out a bit. We'll see what happens! Right now I'm on anywhere from 15-25 more units Per Day than normal and having to change my inset 1-2 times a day! Sometimes they just don't seem to work so I change it.

My blood type is O Negative so I have to have a shot of Rhogam today. I didn't see any affects on my blood sugars from the Rhogam.

I'm still battling morning sickness and think it will stick with me throughout the pregnancy! I take my Zofran every day, which doesn't affect my sugars, but makes me feel much better! :)

26 Weeks: Failing Insets, Travel & Eye Problems

26 weeks brings the need for more and more insulin and having to change my inset almost EVERY day! One of the reasons I got on the pump was so that I didn't have to poke myself with a needle every day, but this is what this stage of pregnancy brings. With my first pregnancy I had to do it starting at about 17 weeks, and this one it's just starting now. I did realize that sometimes I wasn't be patient enough and giving the insulin time to work, which is probably why I changed it more often before....but now at 26 weeks it's becoming necessary for me.

We just got back from a babymoon to Mexico! It was awesome! Not too hard to control my sugars abroad. But it was very hot and humid, therefore I experienced some painful water retention. I didn't realize what it was until I got back. My calves were HUGE and I felt like I pulled a lot of muscles in them. My face was also slightly swollen as well. I've been drinking a bunch of water which has helped with the water retention as well.

My back has been starting to really hurt. Traveling on an airplane and with airport delays it was no fun. I'm going to a Chiropractor and Physical Therapist too. I am going to do some acupuncture as well. I had issues during my last delivery with my back and want to prevent them as much as possible if I can. 

Eyes- since last week I have noticed some blurriness in my left eye. As I drove today and it covered briefly my eye I freaked out and went to the eye doctor. I was worried because I'm type 1 and pregnant. My doctor told me my eyes could get worse in pregnancy. He told me today though what he see's is the residual blood left over from when my eyes bled before when I was doing fertility treatments. It was such a great relief to know that it wasn't anything new! After all the back issues I've been dealing with , I didn't want to have to deal with that too. They said it can take anywhere from 2 months to a REALLY long time for it to go away....let's just hope it goes away on it's own!

Next growth scan is in 2 weeks!! I'm looking forward to that....and then maybe after that I'll start ordering some baby furniture! :)

24 Weeks....HBA1C and Growth Scan

Ahh, as I threw up today in Bed Bath and Beyond, I was once again reminded that I need to continue to take my Zofran. Morning sickness has not left me yet....urgh. I guess it just is what it is. It's just hard when it hits at all the inopportune moments! LOL

24 weeks and one day last week we had a growth ultra sound. It went well! She is measuring in the 61%. I'm not worried that she is over 50% because my first daughter was around the same range. She came out at 7lbs 3oz.

I got my A1C done last week too.....4.9%!!! I said to the doc, "You're Shitting Me?!?!" wow!! (lol, I didn't mean for that to come out!)  I was expecting a 6.0-6.5%, but I guess I've been doing better than I thought. Insulin resistance is kicking in even more though. I'm having to change my inset once every two days at minimum now and sometimes once a day. There are more and more consistent changes with my basals happening now too.

Babymoon! Off for a surprise destination babymoon this week! My husband keeps telling me to pack my Parka....off to the South Pole! haha. I have a feeling it's really somewhere warm though so I think I'll risk it and pack a swim suit! :)

23 Weeks along! Volunteering with the JDRF for T1 Mom's and Mom's to Be!

As each week goes on the aches and pains get a little worse in my back and I see slightly more and more insulin resistance. I have been wearing my Dexcom Continuous Glucose Monitor (CGM) and have been having nothing but problems with it....what kind you ask....for example on sensor reading on the CGM said I was 274 and going straight up!! OH CRAP!!! So I immediately tested my blood and had a reading of 186. That was less than an hour after eating...So almost 100 points off for the CGM!! How am I supposed to rely on this machine if I am having such crazy readings? That was the worst of them, but others will say: CGM: 140 Actual: 85 CGM: 199 Actual: 130....a LOT of readings are more than their 20% variable. If this is what the artificial pancreas technology is supposed to be based off of, don't sign me up yet!! I have called Dexcom too, done the calibration changes they have suggested....and it's just not working! It gets SO Frustrating!

On a happier note, I'm feeling the baby move a ton more which is awesome! Everyone keeps asking us if we have a name...nothing yet, but if you have any cool girl name suggestions, send them our way please! :)

I'm having to change my inset site every 2 days or so now. It just stops working after a while.

I've been trying to work out at least one day a week still, it does help my sugars and my back. I've been having to go to physical therapy for my back.

Also in staying busy I am volunteering with the JDRF and starting a Type 1 Mom's Group Meetup called Sugar Momma's! It will be for Type 1 Expecting Moms and Moms of Infants, Toddlers and Pre-Schoolers. Our first meeting will be Oct 13th in the San Francisco Bay Area! Very exciting! Message me if you know anyone in the area who might be interested in joining!

Well, next week we'll have a 24 week Growth Ultra Sound! Will let you know how it goes!

21 Weeks....No More Cereal!?! (Lost Emails too...)

And the insulin resistance continues! I must have talked to my doctor 3 times over the past week alone! It is crazy and amazing how one little placenta can cause so much ruckus! My carb ratios have gone down from 1:10 in the morning starting in pregnancy, to now 1:6! And I was instructed very clearly by my doctors today, "No More Cereal" for breakfast! Are you kidding me?!?!?! I've been having a cup to cup and a half a day in the morning and LOVE my plain cereal! LOL. I told them I did a cup of Cherrios a day in my last pregnancy and they told me that if they knew that they would have told me to stop it then too. I had no idea! So now, I must have more protein in the morning *sigh*. If I weren't such a picky eater, this wouldn't be an issue at all...and I don't mind the scrambled egg here and there, but I can't do that every day either....BORING. My good friend is going through Gestational Diabetes in her pregnancy right now, so she's just controlling it with diet. She is telling me how bored she is getting with certain foods too, so I think I'm about to find out what she's talking about! haha.

Overall the doctors said my sugars are looking great though. I may have 3-4 hours where my sugars won't come down, but I'm continually on top of it and working to get it down as quickly as possible. Sometimes my hormones just won't allow it to be as quick as I would like. I'm sure they'll check my A1C again soon, but they feel that it will be great since I'm on top of all of my high sugars.

I'm still having to take Zofran every day. The doctors insist though that it will have no effect on my baby...so what can I say, I'm not a doctor, I'll just trust them.

The baby is on the move! This little one seems to be doing flips in there! Which is awesome! I feel her move a lot more than my first pregnancy. 

EMAILS!! So thinking that most people would leave comments here instead of emailing, I have Not been good at reading emails sent to my account listed here on the site. I do apologize to the sweet people who reached out to me with such kind words. I do PROMISE to be more consistent about reading and responding!! If anyone wants to talk about anything I've discussed in my blog posts or just share their story or ask questions, please feel free to reach out to me! I look forward to hearing from you:) xo

20 Weeks and the Insulin Resistance Continues

After hitting the 20 week mark I am doing nothing but seeing more insulin resistance. Especially in the morning. A week ago I was at a basal rate of 0.975 in the morning from 5am-9am....and now I am 1.175 units per hour! It seems like such a drastic increase in such a short period of time. I feel like it is a lot more than my first pregnancy too. I have also had to increase my night time basals because it would take me 3-4 hours for my sugars to come down. I have run everything by my doctor and we're on the same page.

The insulin resistance can be frustrating at times, but I'm just staying on top of it as much as I can. I had my first 300 sugar and was like AHHHH!!! I got it down quickly and it happened to be right before I worked out for the first time in a couple months, so that helped too. I finally had energy for the gym and it was awesome! My doctor mentioned that during a second pregnancy you can have MORE insulin resistance....(not sure if I mentioned that already).....but I sure seem to be on that path!

On a good note, I'm feeling the little one kick quite often! I'm also noticing a small reduction in my nausea...so let's just hope that continues!



For now, I'll just keep on truckin' along!

18 & 19 weeks Pregnant, Insulin Resistance and...IT's A .........!!!

GIRL!!! We are so excited to welcome another little girl into our family! At the 18 week Scan we did a fetal echo cardiogram and that turned out great as well as the scan of all the organs. I don't have to go back for 6 weeks for another ultra sound.

And now we're at 19 weeks and starting to see some insulin resistance! I finally got a chance to talk to the doctor today and she said that it is totally normal to see more insulin resistance in your Second pregnancy. I didn't know that. She said it can come on as early at 20-22 weeks. I'm 19 and 2 days right now, so I'm close enough to fall into that timeline. I remember being on a 1:3 carb ratio at the end of my first pregnancy...if it's going to be worse this time, I can't even imagine how much insulin I will be on in the near future! I started out at a 1:10 carb ratio in the am and I am now at a 1:7 and I have had to raise my basals starting at 2am until 12pm. I've only had a few sugars in the 200's, but when I saw my highest today at 260 after breakfast I did freak out a bit. I know there is nothing I can do but give myself a shot and adjust my insulin levels. I am not making this adjustment after seeing ONE high sugar, but have noticed a steady increase over a period of a week. I never make adjustments with my insulin unless I have seen a pattern for 3 days or more. I have also see some higher sugars in the evening time and only made a mild adjustment. We will see what the weeks to come have for me!

17 Weeks and No 2nd Trimester Relief

17 weeks! It's definitely exciting to be this far:) But there has been no Second Trimester relief for me. I am still throwing up EVERY day! It's usually in the morning and if I don't take my Zofran, at lunch too. I still keep trying every day to not take it, but then it catches up to me and I must.

My diabetes has been in really tight control. I think at times the doctors think too tight. I've had quite a few lows (nothing major), but I feel like I am starting to see some insulin resistance in the AM....especially after breakfast. I have now reduced my carb ratio from 1:9 to 1:8. And today after breakfast I had my highest sugar so far of 233.

It's been a crazy few weeks of travel, stress and illness. We went to another state and different time zone for a wedding. Adjusting for the 3 hour time difference, in regards to my blood sugars, was mostly difficult on the days of travel, but as soon as I got on the plane I adjusted my pump to the time zone that we were flying to.

Next there was the stress of a death in the family. My beautiful Grandma passed. She lived an amazing 93 years though! But dealing with that a week ago and then the funeral this weekend has been hard. You always wonder how much stress and emotions affect your blood sugars. AND to top all of that off I have been horribly sick the past 4 days. I have been having to use an inhaler and use prescription cough medicine that has Codeine  in it. I have been coughing so much every day it's been awful! Even to the point of coughing so hard it's making me throw up:(

All this with trying to make sure the baby and myself are ok. It's been stressful the past couple weeks, but I know I'll get through it! I'm still sending my sugars to the doctor every Thursday. They have only made slight adjustments to my basals and sometimes nothing at all. I'm sure it will get more difficult soon and I'll see more resistance!

I'm ready for a vacation! Maybe there will be a babymoon in our future, but we'll see! Next appt is a big one. We will have a Fetal Echo Cardiogram this week and also an ultra sound to see if the baby is growing correctly and get the results of our second trimester blood draw. They do a fetal cardiogram because diabetic babies can have more problems with heart development. We had this done with our first pregnancy. We are hopeful that will all turn out well and that we'll get to find out the sex of the baby!:)

14 Weeks- Second Trimester!!!!! Back up plan for your pump!

I have finally hit the second trimester!! YAY!! The nausea is still in full force though, not letting up as of yet! I met with my diabetes doctors today and they think that everything is going really well. They are happy with my sugars. I am still having to fuss with some basals, but overall I've been in really good control. I think I am getting close to the point though where I will start wanting to wear my CGM (Continuous Glucose Monitor). I know insulin resistance will be happening soon.

We saw the heartbeat again today, but the baby was facing away so we couldn't hear it, hopefully we'll be able to do that within a couple of weeks! For now, it's still staying on top of my sugars and a vacation! Can't wait!

I realized this week the importance of having a back up plan for my insulin pump. When I go on vacation Animas is great in giving me a vacation loaner. One time on vacation my pump didn't make it through a mild depth of water and I didn't have a back up plan in place. I spent the last 2 days of my vacation on fast acting insulin and having to wake up to test every 2-3 hours!  This week my pump blanked out on me for no reason what so ever! I had just changed the battery the day before, so maybe it was a bad battery? As a result of this it reminded me to talk to my doctor. They called me in a prescription of Novolog so in case of an emergency, I'll be prepared! At least for now I have my back up pump, so now I just have to write my basals down somewhere for a back up record!

13 weeks! The dreaded "C" Word!!

I am 13 weeks today! I am starting to wonder if my nausea is starting to subside, or if it's just in my head. Sometimes you wonder....am I throwing up just because I'm thinking about it, hence making myself, or is it really my body? I would never intentionally make myself...but you can't help but have these feelings sometimes.

I have been dealing (sorry if TMI for some, but that is what this blog is about, right?)....the "C" word....Constipation!! It's been so bad that I've talked to my doctor and they have me taking Colace 100mg 2x a day and 1 Miralax a day. I hate having to take something, but being so uncomfortable is so much worse. The stool has just be so hard that I'm needing something to soften everything. I think it's  a result of 1) Pregnancy...digestion is much slower and 2) the Zofran I'm having to take for nausea.

When my symptoms start to go away I have to say I freak out a bit though! I'm like is everything still Ok??? I can't help this feeling since last time we lost the pregnancy at 9 weeks. I'm doing my best to stay positive though and to not read into every little thing....though it's kinda hard sometimes.

My blood sugars are still seeing some lows so I've reduced my basals slightly more, but as a result i'm seeing numbers a little higher than I'd like...like waking up at 138 this morning, so I've readjusted. Before I was waking up in the 60's or 70's so now I need to find a happy medium! I am finding that if I eat more starchy or fatty foods at night that my sugars are a little higher (138) and if not I'm a little lower. It's such a balancing act sometimes and it can be frustrating!

Next week my 14 week appt before I'm off to Hawaii for a week! :)Til then:)

12 weeks and Nuchal Translucency Ultra Sound

Today I am 12 weeks 1 day and we had our Nuchal Translucency Ultra Sound! Everything looks good so far!!:) Our at risk numbers for Downs Syndrome was 1 in 19,000 and for Trisomy 18 (the more severe form of Downs Syndrome was 1 in 100,000. This doesn't mean it couldn't happen, but as of right now the risk is very low.

At 11 weeks I finally stopped my Endometrin. I was only taking it once a day at that point, but the doctors said they were confident that the placenta was producing enough hormones so that I no longer needed to supplement the progesterone. I was hoping that when I stopped that some of my nasuea would ease up, but that hasn't been the case. I am still sick to my stomach every day. The days I haven't thrown up it it is because I was able to take my Zofran in time to help with the symptoms. Everyone says that hopefully this will feel better in a couple weeks. I don't think the Zofran has had any affect on my blood sugars which is good.

My sugars have been excellent though my insulin requirements have still dropped more. I had to reduce my basals .5 all round for a 24 hour period. I was having too many lows so I called my doctor and we made adjustments. Overall though, everything is going really well with my diabetes. I have an eye appt next week to see how they are doing since I had some bleeding in my viterous (the gel in the eye) This bleeding started I noticed when I was taking hormone supplements....so I'm hoping that pregnancy will not make it worse. (I don't know for sure if the hormone supplements caused it...my doctor said no, but it was always around the time I was taking them)
I had about 3-4 ruptures in a 8 month period. I had to have laser done twice. It is not fun!!
The only thing they said I can do to control them is to control my sugars so that I what I am trying to do. Pregnancy is hard on the eyes so I will just have to keep in close contact with my doctor so hopefully I won't have to have more laser done in my eye during pregnancy. 

I can already feel the baby move! I swear that since 11 weeks I have felt the baby moving already! This is probably because it is my 2nd pregnancy. When we saw the baby in the Ultra Sound day it was super active so I'm not surprised if I'm feeling  a little something!

Next step...the eye doctor. I will let you know how that goes in just over a week!

10 Weeks 1 Day Scan

I went for my 10 week 1 day scan yesterday. It went well! The baby measured at 10 weeks 4 days. Last week it measured 9 weeks at the 9 week 1 day scan, so maybe it had a little growth spurt! :) Our next Ultra Sound will be the Nuchal Translucency Ultra Sound in 2 weeks.

I've still had a lot of morning sickness and the doctors have given me medicine for this, but it's still not helping 100%. They still have me taking Endometrin 100mg until 11 weeks, but only once a day now and not twice. Because of the random morning sickness throughout the day I am experiencing lows sometimes afterwards. I always make sure to have my sugar pills handy! I like the Dex 4. They taste the best.

My blood sugars are still having some mild ups and downs. We have to more reduce my insulin though because I am having more lows. We did up my lunch carb ratio though from 1:11 to 1:10. Other than that we have reduced some basals. The doctor told me to expect peaks and valley's in my numbers during the first trimester. (some high some low).

Now the 2 week wait until the big scan!

9 weeks 1 day scan

As you can see I am not updating every day, but after each appointment or any major changes. I went for my 9 week 1 day scan yesterday and so far so good! I was thinking or more hoping that the throwing up all week in the morning was a good sign. :) It's been pretty bad though the past week. At least 3 times before lunch, so I had to ask the doctor for some medicine. I took a pill today and felt so much better!

My A1C was 5.1 which was great! Now I'm at the point where I am starting to see my sugars go a little lower so I'm starting to have to reduce some of my basal levels. I go over these numbers with the doctors every week. We usually make adjustments together, but sometimes I will make some on my own. Like this week I kept getting low after breakfast so I changed my carb ratio from 1:9 back to 1:10 where it was before.

I'm still exhausted! So that's hopefully another good sign! I will go back next week for another appointment and to have my blood drawn for my nuchal transluency blood work. As long all goes well I will have that appt on July 5th!

Now 8 weeks, 7 week 1 day scan and A1C

So the nausea started at about 6 1/2 weeks and it's steadily gotten worse. But...I'll take it! I figure it's a good sign. Last Thursday I had another 7 week 1 day scan and we are right on track! I'm still not out of the woods though, so it's still scary. I had to take a trip to Vegas over the weekend and I was nervous flying being so early on, but the doctors told me it was ok. I'm still feeling sick so I'm hoping that everything is going well. I had to go because I planned an event there, but let me tell you, Vegas sober....not recommended! lol.

I am 8 weeks today. I have had to increase my morning carb ratio from 1:10-1:9 and change my lunch carb ratio from 1:12 to 1:11. But my blood sugars have been really good and not too many lows! My morning sickness is more like any time of day sickness. Mostly it's between breakfast and lunch, but I've thrown up at all times. Or sometimes I just gag. I am still super tired and have mild breast tenderness, but mostly I'm having to pee all of the time!

I just got my A1C back.....5.1!!!!! I am so excited!! I've worked really hard to get it and keep it there. I am testing about 15 times a day now. I know it will just get harder with the changing hormones and fluctuation in sugars, but I will continue to do what I can. I test before meals and 1-1 1/2 hrs after and any time I just feel weird.

I don't have my next appt until Next Thurs at 9 weeks 1 day. That is exactly the time that I miscarried before, so it's a big deal to me. My husband said that he's definitely coming with me to this appt. I will keep you posted on how it goes! For now I'm just trying to keep myself busy and stay relaxed. Because no matter what the outcome, the reality is that I have no control over it.  I'm just staying positive!! :)

6 Weeks 2 Day Scan

Today I had my 6 week 2 day ultra sound and we saw a little flicker for a heartbeat for the first time! It was so exciting! The doctor said our chances of miscarriage now reduce by 90%! Woo hoo! But, I do have to remember that we were in this same situation last time and we saw a heartbeat, but miscarried at 9 weeks 1 day. So now, it's just the waiting game. And also doing my best to stay positive!

My blood sugars have been under good control. I am still on a lot more than normal insulin though. My basals are up about 15-20% compared to normal. I am working with my doctor to make the necessary adjustments.

As for symptoms. I'm extremely exhausted! And when I get really tired I'm getting really cranky! lol. My poor husband! Yesterday I had my first real bit of nausea and the day before that my breasts were sore all day. The only consistent symptom is the tiredness.

We'll go back next week for another ultra sound so I hope I continue to stay feeling decent for now! :)

5 week 1 day scan

So yesterday went about as well as could be expected. I met with all my diabetes doctors who were super stoked to have me back. This included the head of the Diabetes/OB clinic and the Endocrinologist and nutritionist. They said I'm on the right track right now...so I'll keep it going!

As for the ultra sound. We hit 2 milestones out of 3. We saw a gestational sac which measured 5 weeks 1 day and it was in the right spot in the uterus!:) We could not see a heartbeat yet so we will have another scan in one week. Until then all I can do is control my sugars and try to relax!

My sugars are pretty stable. Over the past couple of days I have been high after breakfast though so I changed my morning carb ratio from 1:10 to 1:9. Hopefully that will make a difference. By 'high' I mean I am not under 140 1 hour to 1 1/2 hours after breakfast. I have been anywhere from 160-215 so I'm trying to fix that!

Am I telling people yet you may be asking? Only a couple of people know. Considering what happened last time and how long it took us to get pregnant, until I see a heartbeat and maybe even until I'm out of the 1st trimester, I think I will just keep it to the small group who knows....Right now it's just one day at a time!

Viablility Scan @ 5 weeks 1 day

So tomorrow I have my first viability scan. Here's the thing...I did my IUI at one doctors office, but I'll be going for my high risk care at another. Where I did my IUI (Hospital A), they don't want me to do my first Viability scan until 6 weeks 2 days. Where I will get my high risk care (Hospital B) is where I delivered my first daughter and where I miscarried.  As soon as I called them and told them I was pregnant, they wanted to see me ASAP. They were so excited when I called!! That made me feel really good because I was debating on whether or not to go to another place closer to my home, but Hospital B said they are so excited I am coming back! :) But, my only concern is that Hospital B is having me to an Ultra Sound (the Viability scan) at 5 weeks 1 day. Usually this early I am told that you most likely won't see anything...so I just am trying to prepare myself for that and tell myself that it doesn't mean anything if we don't see a heartbeat yet. I'm assuming they just want to see a gestational sack and make sure that it's in the right place (not in my tubes)...so I will keep you posted on how it goes and I am trying not to be nervous about it! But it's definitely a consistent thought.

Overall I have been feeling good thus far. From just before the 4 week mark until now, my insulin requirements have gone up dramatically. The first few days my blood sugars seemed wacko! But I have increased my levels across the board. All of my basals have increased throughout the day. Finally I am seeing some normalcy to my numbers. I faxed them to the doctor on Monday and got a call back that there are no changes needed for now. We'll see how it goes tomorrow. Today I am off to the gym for some light exercise. Have to keep my heart rate under 140bpm. But I need to move! Been doing walks this week otherwise.

The only symptoms I'm experiencing as of now is some very mild breast tenderness...which seems to come and go and fatigue. Wow have I been tired! But I feel like I have been sleeping better than I have in a long time. I have been having vivid dreams too. Crazy!!

Keep you posted on how things go!

The Results Are In.......

And we're Pregnant!!!!!!! It's official!!! 4 weeks and 1 day! Yay!!! WOO HOO!!! This IUI worked! After 20 months of trying, and one miscarriage, failed IVF and IUI's we are expecting a baby! :)

So I went to the doctor 2 days ago to have my HCG and progesterone checked and my HCG was 74 and progesterone was >40. I waited to say anything because I wanted to go back for the 48 hour blood test today and the HCG came back at 209! It more than doubled so the doctor says that is really great! Now the next step is to go in for an Ultra Sound in a couple of weeks where we will hopefully see a heartbeat!

It's hard to get too excited after everything we have been through. I'm just taking one day at a time. The journey is not over yet, we just got over one of the biggest hurdles...but there are so many more to come.

As for my diabetes I am already experiencing a lot of insulin resistance. It started at about 3 1/2 weeks, before I knew I was pregnant. I woke up 3 mornings in the mid 200's. I freaked out and swore that my period was coming....and I kept feeling the cramping like it was. It was so uncomfortable at one point I called the doctors office. I think maybe the vaginal suppositories are not helping with the discomfort. When I was pregnant before I didn't have this uncomfortable feeling.

Overall I have raised my daily basals from 19.5-22.5, just trying to control my sugars! I'm getting into my doctors office right away next week for this. I am thinking the hormone surges in the beginning are really throwing my blood sugars off. I'm doing the best I can to keep them under good control.

Well...that's where we are now! If anyone ever has questions or just wants to chat and talk about their journey, I'd be happy to do so! Also, if anyone I know personally reads this blog to find out I'm pregnant....it's ok to tell me you know!

Can't wait to go through the next chapter with you all! :)

Oh the Waiting...and Low Blood Sugars?

"Just relax", "Don't worry about it", "Don't stress"...yes these are things that everyone tells you and that you tell yourself, but let's face it....it sucks having to wait 2 weeks to find out if you're pregnant or not! Total anxiety at times. The IUI went smoothly and I've been on Endometrin Vaginal suppositories since 2 days after the IUI. The endometrin is ok, just really annoying because you have to wear a panty liner every day. The medicine comes out throughout the day. It's kinda annoying because you'd just like to have to wear liners during your period only, not ALL Month (at least it feels that long) Sorry if it's TMI, but like I said, I'm putting it all out there in this journey!

To top it off I've been so sick with a cold this week, so I've been sitting home with nothing to do but question if I am pregnant or not. You can't help it when you don't have energy to do much else!
My daughter has her 2nd birthday party this weekend too, so I'm just trying to focus on that.

I go for a blood test next week, but I honestly already have the feeling that I'm Not pregnant. Then I have to keep reminding myself that it's only been just over a week since the IUI, so I need to chill! It's just that we've had so many 'negatives' that I think that is what I assume. I also feel like my period is coming, but I read online that that is a side effect of Endometrin. The last two times I did get pregnant, I just knew....but maybe I'm not at that stage yet.

As for my sugars, because I was sick I had a couple of high numbers this week, but only a couple. Surprisingly, I have been low in the middle of the night and in the am for the past 4 days. I don't know why this would be because I'm on my lowest dose of medicine currently, and I haven't exercised it a week! Is it the Endometrin? I don't know....but overall at least I'm staying in good control:)
Here's to more waiting and trying to stay positive......

Follicle Count, Ganirelix and HCG Shot

I went to the doctor last Friday for my follicle count tracking. There were 3-4 follicles. One strong leader, one medium and two smaller. The doctor was pretty positive! The doctor didn't want to risk me ovulating early so he put me on Ganirelix to prevent it. I've been taking the shots for the past 3 days. It still mildly burns and itches right after being administered.

Today I went back to the doctor and the smaller ones didn't make it. I have 2 decent follicles though! One at 18.5mm and the other at 14.5mm. What does this mean HGC shot here I come! I will take it tonight and we will have an IUI on Wednesday. So I have been keeping my blood sugars in the best control possible! I am really watching what I eat:) I am not noticing any effect on my sugars from taking the Gonal F. I'm sure the HCG shot will effect me with my sugars a little bit, but I'm hoping not too much. We'll see how it goes. I've also been put on the "No Exercise" restriction for the time being so I know this will effect my sugars as well.

As mentioned we will go in for the IUI on Wed and then I will start progesterone suppositories on Friday. Not so sure I'm looking forward to that part....lol

Wish us luck!!

Antral Follicle Count and Gonal-F

I went to the doctor yesterday and my antral follicle count was 5 on one side and the doctor couldn't see the ovary on the other side. I started 225 units yesterday in the morning. I will only be doing one shot of Gonal-F each day. Hopefully that is a good start!

My blood sugars have been under decent control. I have decided not to exercise like a mad woman this time, but just to take it easy and watch what I eat. My sugars have been maybe even a bit on the lower side so I am trying to work through that. The only other thing I felt yesterday is a little bit of a hot flash.

My next appointment is on Friday so we'll see how it goes!

The Journey Continues

After failed IVF 2 months ago, we have decided to move forward with other fertility options now. We had a nice couple of much needed breaks between the failed IVF and what we will be starting now.  (2 mini vacations) My cycles have been a little bit off. The first month it was as if my body was trying to ovulate, but it didn't happen for sure and my period was lighter. The second cycle after I ovulated 3 days earlier than normal and got my period 1 week sooner! (We definitely have been trying on our own too!) This has caused me some insulin resistance as well. 2 days before my last period started my sugars were running much higher in the evening and I couldn't figure out why!?!? And then the light bulb went off when I finally got my period. It was early so I didn't put two and two together at first!

I have to say I honestly haven't been as diligent with my blood sugars lately, but they haven't been bad. I just was sick in the middle of everything and experienced some insulin resistance with that and the fact that I couldn't exercise during this time. I'm getting back on track though!

So what's next? Fertility drugs with an IUI. Since I didn't respond well last time to the stim meds (only 3 follicles, this time I will be going on only 1 shot  a day of Gonal F instead of 2 and I won't be taking Menopur. They won't be trying to control my cycle as much, but just try to produce eggs and then do an IUI where the sperm will be placed closer to the eggs. They said I will have a 300% better chance doing this rather than trying on our own. The IUI is better because if I am producing less eggs, it is better to keep them in their own environment they tell me. Tomorrow will be day 3 of my cycle so I will go in for my first Ultra Sound and start medication tomorrow night as long as I don't have any cysts on my ovaries. We'll see how it goes! Staying positive:) Will we every do IVF again? I don't know. Right now it just doesn't feel like the right option so we're doing IUI. The doctors say to absolutely do what we can to help us along now, so we're doing it!

My 2nd Opinion....

Well, it's been a long week and I needed a little break before sitting down to re-hash it all out:)
First let me start with my last appointment follow up. On Monday I had my last and final talk with my current doctor on the outcome of my IVF cycle. He said that I had only 2 good eggs from 3 follicles that they were tracking. (It's funny that he told me they were both good, because I remember him saying initially that the first egg wasn't great quality) Anyways, he said that my immunology looked really good. He was really surprised that it was so good with me being a Type 1 diabetic. He said there should have been a 60% chance that it wouldn't be good because of the diabetes. He also said that my uterus was great. My lining was 13mm....perfect! He thinks the reason that I didn't respond well to the medications was because of my previous endometriosis. He feels that a good chunk of my ovary was removed in my surgery in 2009, but mostly that the endometriosis probably damaged my ovaries a lot before I even had the surgery. Without the surgery that I had I probably wouldn't have conceived my beautiful daughter. So he thinks that it would be best to just try on our own over the next few months. They say that you have a "rebound" effect where your body responds well to fertility the first few months after a failed IVF cycle. This is because your body has taken all of the fertility drugs, aspirin, antibiotics, etc. If in 4 months we are not pregnant, he said he would do another IVF cycle with us, but that we shouldn't expect better results than the first time....meaning that we will only produce probably the same 2-3 follicles. It doesn't mean that they wouldn't fertilize the next time, but just that we would be spending a lot of money for very little increased odds....He even went as far out to say that we could possibly even consider DONOR EGGS.....but this is honestly not something that I am even will to consider at this point. I still have faith that I'm just not done on my own yet....call it a gut feeling.....

My 2nd Opinion!! I really enjoyed meeting my second doctor...we'll call him Dr. L. Dr. L was so personable. Not that my other wasn't....you know when you just have more of a connection with someone? Well Dr. L told me that if I had gone to any other IVF facility in the area where I live, that he might think they didn't do something right....but he said coming from the doctor that I went to....if he couldn't do it, than he wouldn't have better results.

The first thing he said when he came in the room is basically that he doesn't think doing another round of IVF would be worth it. He measured my ovaries. After the surgery the left one is 2/3's the size it should be and the right one is at about 80%. He said my uterus looks great as well! The best thing about Dr. L...he DIDN'T make me feel defeated! He brought up the potential too of Donor Eggs or not trying anymore, but neither one of these are options for me right now. Since Clomid didn't work for me he said there is another medicine that I can try in pill form (I keep forgetting the name) and that it works a bit better than clomid. He thinks we should do either this with an IUI OR the best option he thinks for us would be do do the IVF hormones again, but at a much lower dose and only once a day and then do an IUI with this. He thinks we should try this month on our own and then next month do the hormone shots and IUI. He thinks it would be good to do it right after the failed IVF because like the other doctor said, my body is primed and ready to go! Or the 3rd option is just to wait and let it happen naturally. It happened twice before so the good thing that we know is that I can get pregnant....now it's just a matter of how and when....

Honestly, I feel excited to still have options.  BUT, at the same time...I am Tired. Exhausted. Plainly....temporarily over it. I just need a break and guess what...I'm going to give myself one! I don't think one will ever Stop wanting it each month and still trying for it...but I just need a little break. My husband and I are going to go on a vacation!! We have the grandparents baby sitting our daughter for a week and we are taking some MUCH needed us time. I'm hoping this will allow us to refocus a little bit.

So now the next big decision is do we start hormone therapy next month again...or just let nature take it's course? One day at a time. I will continue to keep the blog updated and keep posting about our fertility adventure....it's a journey right now, not a destination! :)

Just taking a little break....

After the news that the IVF failed last week, the best thing I could do is to take a little break. I went to the house at the lake to spend time with my daughter. It was a difficult start to the week, but I am slowly feeling better:) I think this is because I've realized a couple of things....One- I'm not going to give up. Just because the doctor said it wouldn't work for me, doesn't mean I'm not going to try....and Two-this is the best time to appreciate what I already have and just enjoy every minute of every day with my beautiful daughter! (Even if she's going into her "Terrible Two's" and has been a pistol all week!) lol. In the end, everything has been worth it.

I still have the bad bruises on my stomach from the Lovenox. Purple, Black, Blue and Green! I look like I got mildly beat up on my tummy. Who know's how long that will take to go away?

I have my next appointment for another opinion on March 6th. I've been thinking about it a lot....maybe he'll just tell me the same thing? The doctor I went to made me feel that there were not any other options. How will I feel if I hear this news again? *Sigh* I just don't know...it will be frustrating I suppose. I know that most people think that since I have a child I shouldn't be worried about Infertility, or Sub-Fertility....but when you know how great it is and this is your full time job and you're told you may not have more of your own, it's very hard. I know many people don't even have one of their own and my hearts go out to those folks. I do honestly feel blessed for what I do have. Sometimes I ask myself if I'm being selfish for wanting another child? I even asked my husband that question the other day. His response to me was that it is OK to want something. He said that I shouldn't be so hard on myself because it is OK to want another child. It's just not up to us if it happens or not, so I still just have to focus on 1 day at a time. 

I'll keep things posted as we move along in a couple of weeks! And then it looks like my husband and I might be able to take a much needed vacation, just to get away and enjoy each other! :)

IVF Failed :(

I want to thank everyone who has taken the time to read my story...it may only be a few of you, but maybe more and I hope that someone has felt some sense of comfort in reading it, allowing them to know that they're not alone.

Unfortunately I won't be able to tell you how the progesterone shots effect my diabetes because we found out today that our second egg didn't fertilize. The doctor called me himself this morning...as soon as I answered and heard his voice instead of a nurse on the other end, I knew it wasn't good news. He said that our first egg, though mature, just didn't overall look like a good egg. Our second egg was intermediate on the day of retrieval and didn't mature until the next day. Eggs only have a 70% chance of being fertilized and it didn't happen. :(

So what are the next steps? Well the doctor has told me that since I didn't respond well to the high dose of IVF medications, that IVF probably isn't a good thing for me to try again. He says that chances of natural pregnancy are high after taking all of these medications, so to "Get On It!" over the next 2-4 months:) Ok, those were technically my words:) hehe. From that point, we could try IVF again, but the chances are so slim, that we may want to consider donor eggs. I can honestly say that I am not ready for that option.

I feel so blessed to have 1 child, that if that is all God gives me, then I will be happy. It's not that I can say I will be happy and satisfied right off the bat, but I know it will come with time.....

I have also decided that though the doctor may say I'm done, I'm NOT. I've already scheduled a second opinion. For all I know the doctor will say the  same thing as the last doctor I went to, but at least I'm putting myself out there to try. If he says no too, then I will be able to figure out the next steps. The appointment isn't until March 6...which is 3 weeks away...but I promise to keep things posted as we move along in our Fertility Journey. Please feel free to comment or email me with any thoughts, questions, or just feelings. It is a Journey...that I will never take for granted, but take one day at a time:)

Retrieval..........

We had our retrieval yesterday. I haven't posted yet because I did not feel good afterwards...well actually, the relaxing medication they gave me felt very um...."Relaxing":) The only issue I had with the retrieval was a very sore throat afterwards. This is because of the oxygen being forced through my nose and into my throat while being knocked out. I am also having some minor cramping today, but didn't feel any issues yesterday.

They had me under a heated blanket before and after they put me out for the retrieval. I had my Continuous Glucose Monitor (CGM) on to check my sugars before and after. Before I kept my sugars a little elevated (140) just so I wouldn't get low during the procedure. It was perfect. Then after I gave myself a shot to bring myself down slightly. About an hour after the procedure I got an ERROR 1 notification on my CGM. After looking this up it means that my CGM is not calibrating and reading my sugars. They also gave me Tylenol for any potential cramping that I might have.  This is also something I found out can effect the CGM Sensor reading. It reacts with the protein that is on the sensor in some way shape or form, I'm not exactly sure how......I waited an hour like suggested from the Dexcom Website and put in a new sugar to calibrate, but after a couple of hours realized that it just wasn't reading correctly. It wasn't following the trends in my sugars, so I had to put in a new sensor. This one worked much better! Was it the heat or the medication that effected the sensor? I'm not sure, but something did!

So from the 3 follicles they only retrieved 2 eggs...and you know what, I was actually VERY excited about this. I was thinking there might not be anything so 2 was AWESOME!!! But then I got a phone call this morning that said one of them didn't make it:( They did ICSI on it yesterday because it was mature, but it didn't fertilize....:( The second egg didn't mature until this morning so they were doing ICSI on it today. I wont' know until tomorrow what happens with this little guy....

I can't say that I didn't have a minor breakdown today....it's hard, you only have 2 so you're thinking both will be awesome quality, right? Maybe I kind of feel like a failure? Why am I not producing more eggs? Why wasn't it good? But then a realization, that it is what it is...and there is nothing I can do to control it. For now I'm still taking my Lovenox and we'll wait to see what happens tomorrow.

Final Decision- Move Forward with IVF

After careful consideration we have decided to move forward with IVF and not an IUI. We figured that we've come this far, right? If the doctor doesn't think that I will respond any better to future IVF meds, why not go for it? If I have to do it again and get less follicle growth, I'll probably regret not going for it when they said I had 3 decent ones! So now, we just pray that there are eggs in each of the 3 follicles and that they are mature. Then that they fertilize and grow! And of course from there that it implants and that we have a baby:) (but I'm pretty sure that was a good assumption of what we want) lol

I go in tomorrow morning for the retrieval. I took a shot of HCG last night. I have seen some mild insulin resistance, but nothing major. I feel like my insulin resistance is more coming from a lack of exercise. I haven't been to the gym since the end of last week. I've been keeping my CGM on and just monitoring my sugars really closely. I have also started taking Lovenox (a blood thinner) They started me on this Saturday night. I've had some bruising from it, but once again no major issues with blood sugar control.

Tonight was the first night I haven't had to give myself a shot in a couple of weeks! So nice! But more will start again tomorrow night as long as things go well. They just had me take a Pepcid to reduce the acid in my stomach today and tomorrow am, as well as Reglan. I'm not sure what the Reglan does. I will ask again tomorrow.

I go in at 8am in the morning and the procedure is at 9am. 30min-1hr with -2hrs of recovery time. Please keep your positive thoughts with us that all goes smoothly!

IVF or IUI?? Even Lower Follicle Count

Let me start off by saying that that Ganirelix is driving me nuts! lol...Ever since I have started taking it I go through a period of insulin resistance during the day. It's usually in the afternoon, after lunch. Where it would normally take me 3-4 units to get my sugar down, I am taking about 10+! This has just been while I have been on the Ganirelix. I mentioned this to the doctor today and he was surprised to hear this because the Ganirelix is just a LH prohibitor.(My LH won't rise so I won't ovulate early)

At my follow up appointment today we found out that I only have 3 follicles that have grown....I really wish it were more. Because of this the doctor has once again brought up the idea of doing an IUI instead. I have been pregnant before which the doctor says that I have in my favor. If I hadn't ever been pregnant before, he would say 100% do the IVF. But because I have, he is thinking that we might be better off doing an IUI (Artificial Insemination), but he is leaving it up to us. The biggest advantage of doing an IUI would be that we would get up to 50% or more of our money back...and if it didn't work, we could put that towards trying again starting in April. But there is still a chance that the follicles that I have produced have at least ONE viable egg in it! And after that there are more variables against us....Is the egg mature? Will the egg fertilize? Will it grow? So it's a big decision....what do we decide to do? We've come this far, do we just go all the way?! I have until tomorrow to decide......

Ganirelix, Difficult Blood Sugars and Cancel the IVF??

I had an appointment yesterday to check my follicle count again. I'm still low at only 4. They were measuring at 10mm + though so that is good. To prevent ovulation from occurring, they started me on the Ganirelix again yesterday which to me = Blood Sugar Insanity!! I feel that I can finally conclude that the Ganirelix makes me quite a bit insulin resistant. I am supposed to be on it 1-2 more days after today and I'm mildly dreading it. It is taking much more insulin to come down from a high sugar. I even exercised today and I find myself having difficulties controlling my numbers.

Back to the low follicle count. I have another check up tomorrow. From this point we decide if moving to the next step of Egg Retrieval is the right thing to do, or do we just do an IUI? The doctor thinks as long as the follicles are still growing well tomorrow that we should plan for the retrieval. He thinks this is best because since I'm already on a high dose of medications, that I probably wouldn't respond better to stimulation meds again in the future (if that's what ends up having to happen) :( I have to say it is disheartening to realize that I don't have a strong egg reserve left. I am 33 years old, and never thought this would be something that I would have to deal with. So if we decided to continue with the IVF, there is a chance that any eggs they get may not fertilize and grow....but It Only Takes One....so there is Still a chance that this will work!!! I'm just doing my best to stay positive (even though the past couple of days have been really hard once I found out about the low follicle count). I'm keeping a smile on my face and see what happens after the appointment tomorrow!:)

Low Follicle Count:(

Today is day 6 of my injectable medications. I had an Ultra Sound with the doctor this morning and have to say that I was a little disheartened by what I was told. There were only 3 follicles on my left ovary and 1 follicle on my right! I went in thinking that I'm 33 years old, I'll have like 12! Um..no. Even the doctor agreed that this is a little disappointing. So then I asked him, "Well that means there are at least 4 eggs, right?" And his response was No. There are usually about 70% of the follicles that actually contain an egg. Even more disheartening! What if we get only a few and they don't grow? What if they don't grow at all and I don't end up even having a retrieval after all that we have started? There are so many "What If's?"...but the reality of it is that I just need 1! But having more would make one feel that the odds of it working were more in their favor...

Why am I not reacting well to the medications??....the doctor says that this is most likely because of my higher FSH and my past Endometriosis. I'll go back in two days for another ultra sound....Also he is not having me start the Lovenox yet, but making me wait another 2 days. As a result, he says I can exercise another couple of days!! Sweet! Blood sugars are staying in good control thus far!:) My CGM has been a great help in this:) I'll have to wait and see what happens when the medications are switched on me later this week!

Follistim, Menopur and Spotting!?!?

I am on day 5 now of the injectable medications and was really surprised this morning to find that I was spotting. Why didn't anyone tell me that this might be a side effect?! Of course though my instant reaction was that there was something wrong...but after researching online and the nurses finally calling me back, it seems that this just may be for a small percentage of folks a side effect. There was a mild dull pressure in my uterine area too so I just assumed that I might be getting my period (which would have meant to me that things weren't happening correctly since I'm only technically on Day 10 of my cycle.) I have my first follow up appointment with the Fertility doctor tomorrow so we'll see how he says things are going. Until then, I don't know if the spotting is something that is really ok or not.

I got my last workout in today too. I think if for nothing but mental sanity, it was good for me to do so. Before I went though I made sure that the nurse gave me the OK because I was spotting. She said it wasn't an issue.

The next step is just to wait and see the doctor tomorrow to see how things are going and if hopefully the medicine is doing what it's supposed to do!

Connect the dots:)

So I'm only 3 days into the next round of medications and I already feel like a pin cushion! lol. You can look at my stomach and connect all of the little red dots. And there are not just dots from the shots, but from my insulin pump locations too. The CGM doesn't tend to usually make any marks.

I'm noticing thus far that I am starting to have more skin sensitivity to the shots. It's a little more sensitive in the areas that I am injecting and I feel a bit more of a burning sensation each time the medicine is administered. I am hoping this will be the extent of the mild discomfort that I feel. Yesterday one of the shots turned into an instant blue bruise! The other areas that hasn't happened, but just the discomfort of the initial prick of the needle and the medicine being injected.

As for the effect on my blood sugars, I still haven't seen any real issues. The only issue that I had yesterday was that I put in a new insulin pump inset and it ended up not working so I had to change it and it took a while for my sugar to come down. Does that ever happen to you? In certain locations of my body when I put in an inset it sometimes doesn't work. And of course you can't find out if it works each time until you either 1) have waited for a few hours and your sugars naturally rise on their own or 2) you eat something and the insulin that you give just doesn't cover it.

I'll just have to wait to see how things continue to go. My next appointment is in 3 days. My last day to exercise is in 2 days! I've been wondering if it really is good for me to still be doing it, but anything that will help my sugars right now I'll do!:)

Fertility Medications Have Started!

So today is my first day of taking my injectable medications! Even though I'm experienced in giving myself shots and measuring my insulin, I was totally freaked out that I'm giving myself the medications correctly! Did I give the right amount? Did I get all of it out of the bottle? Is there any left in the needle before I change it and put on the other needle? I think it went ok though.:)

I finished my cycle yesterday and saw the doctor for an ultra sound and some blood work.  First I should mention that my cycle was much heavier than normal. I asked the doctor about this and he told me that it was a result of the Estrace, not the Ganirelix. They then checked in the U/S to make sure that my follicles were "resting" and the blood work was to check my progesterone and estradiol levels, which all came back normal. Yay!:) He also told me I can still work out until next Tuesday! I'm very excited!:) It just helps my blood sugar control so much, and with all the medication I'm starting, I'll take all the help I can get!:) There are restrictions though....I can only do the Elliptical machine and do weights with my arms. No squats and No abdominal workouts.

Now this morning I started Dexamethasone (Steroid) 0.5mg, Cipro (Antibiotic) Follistim 225 units and Menopur. With the Follistim and Menopur there was no irritation at the injection site. This is only my first round, so I can honestly say that I haven't seen any real issues with my sugars yet and I feel ok. I wanted to blame them for my high blood sugar around lunch...but reality of that, it was probably all the pretzels I ate after my low blood sugar....oops! I did go to the gym today though so that did help bring down my sugars. We'll see how it goes as more medication gets circulating throughout my body! I'll be doing injections every 12 hours at least for the next 10 days or so. So we'll see how it all goes! I also did my acupuncture today as well, which is helpful in so many ways...including relaxing! My goal over the next weeks is just to chill out as much as possible and make sure my sugars are in good control! I'll keep you posted on what happens as I get more into the cycle!

Inset Sensitivity and Starting Other Hormones Soon

Ahh Inset Sensitivity....now this is not something that I had not thought about when deciding to do IVF, but I should have! So last week I started the Ganirelix as I mentioned before. On these days, I noticed that I was having more Insulin Pump Inset sensitivity. But I didn't realize this until after I stopped taking the injections. On the 3 days that I was required to give myself these medicines, I had to change my inset injection site anywhere from 2-4 times (each day). The area was red more quickly and the insulin seemed to burn as it was administered into my body. Now I can't say that I haven't had this feeling before, but change it once and it was fine. Last Friday I had to change it 4 times! One of the times was at 4am because my stomach burned and stung so badly where the inset was, that it actually woke me up out of a sound sleep. Now if this is all coincidence, I don't know, but after stopping the Ganirelix, I haven't had as many issues.  I would say that overall I am noticing my inset sites getting more red and looking more irritated more quickly. Hormones do tend to make me more sensitive so this probably explains it. Just for example, if it's that time of the month or when I'm ovulating, Acupuncture is so much more uncomfortable for me! I'm much more sensitive when the needles go in.

I am still doing Acupuncture with herbs and taking the Estrace. I started my cycle last Saturday. I called into the doctors office as instructed and they let me know that my next appointment to come see them will be this Wednesday, Feb 1, 2012. I will then start all of my other injectable medications beginning Thursday Feb 2, 2012. This is also when I will start taking the Steroid Dexamethasone. Now I know this will cause me some insulin resistance, but I am not sure to what extent, so we will see!

I have been wearing my CGM since last week. (It's been driving me nuts sometimes!) It's still the issue of being outside the 20% variable. If the CGM says I'm 95 and my meter tells me 70, that is such a big difference in regards to how I would treat each one of those sugar levels! I am always double checking with my meter now, just to make sure I'm not over doing something one way or another.  I have seen some spikes in my sugars here and there over the past week, but nothing that I would 100% blame on the medications. I do think they have some effect, but not a great amount yet.

Ohhh exercise....*sigh* exercise has not been a close friend of mine over the past week either. I had planned to work out like a Mad Woman before I'm told that I can't exercise anymore. But let's face it, I'm trying to "live it up" before I lock myself down with all these medications and especially before I get pregnant:) Last social outings with cocktails or wine....last times where I'm not measuring out my foods or reading every single label before I put something in my mouth. When I was pregnant before I would carry a carbohydrate book around with me and or always look things up on my phone. Also, another reason I am not exercising is that I am tired. It may be the weather or it might be the fact that it was such a stressful decision to decide to do IVF, that now we are 100% in it, but body just said, "No More Right Now Brookie". I know I'll hit the gym at least one more time tomorrow or the day after though!

So as I have my appointments and I start my shots, I will keep track of how I feel and how my sugars are doing.....it's almost time to start! Wish us luck! :)

First Shots....

So I started my first shots yesterday of Ganirelix. This will be used to help control my ovulation. Between the Estrace and Ganirelix, I can honestly say that I haven't seen much, if any, insulin resistance. I know I said that a couple of days ago I was seeing some in the morning and I wasn't sure of the cause. Today after seeing the initial signs of my cycle starting, I'm pretty sure that is what has been causing my higher blood sugars. Since my sugars are usually higher in the morning, I had to raise my morning basals from 6am-11am. This has helped dramatically with keeping the sugars in good range.

How are the medicines making me feel? Initially the Estrace was making me a little shaky. It's hard to describe. But it's not too extreme. It has subsided since the first day I started taking it. I had difficulty falling asleep that first night though.  The Ganirelix hasn't given me any long term effects. The only issue that I am experiencing with this medication is a slight irritation at the injection site for about 5-10 minutes following the shot, followed by a mild burning sensation. (I have put my Insulin Pump insets in certain places and it has burned worse with the insulin going in)

Now that my cycle is on it's way, the big shots and the real fun begins! I guess the best part of being diabetic with all this is that I've had the past 27 years to practice giving myself injections, but I have to say that some of these big, new medicines can be quite intimidating! I am almost feeling that I'm learning how to do it all over again!

I'm getting excited and focusing on being positive throughout all this. I notice myself getting back into a very focused state of mind when it comes to my sugars and what I am eating. Not to say that I'm not always aware, but when it comes to pregnancy, or potential pregnancy, I suppose it's that maternal instinct that kicks into overdrive:)

My first appointment as a part of Plan Calendar #2 will be within the next few days most likely. The other meds may start even sooner...I'm not sure yet? We'll see what happens next soon!

Estrace Medication Started....

So I started my Estrace today. It's basically an Estrogen hormone from my understanding. So has it affected my mood or sugars??? It's really hard to say! So I woke up with a normal blood sugar of about 115 at 7am. (One of my daughters early mornings...she's usually a good sleeper!) Within about an hour I looked at my CGM and it said I was over 200! I hadn't even eaten a thing yet nor did I take any medicine.....which makes me wonder Why is this happening?? The same thing happened yesterday in the AM, but I didn't have my CGM on yet so I didn't notice. It took more than 2 times the amount of insulin to bring the sugars down. Why is this 2 days in a row...and then I thought about it...how I got a little teary too with my husband this AM (I'm not a sappy one)....Oh Yeah! My Period is coming!! It's not due until the end of the week...but maybe it's going to be early and this will explain the rise in numbers? (I don't get high numbers before my period every month....just sometimes) I guess I'll just have to wait and see.

As for how the medicine made me feel....there was nothing right away or shortly after taking it. About 6-8 hours after I started feeling anxious and a little shaky. Now if this is a result of the medicine or just that I'm a little anxious about the whole process, I don't know....as I continue to take it we'll see what happens. As for my blood sugars, it took a little bit more insulin than normal today to bring my sugars down...but once they got there I was good, even experiencing a couple of lows.

I should note, that especially when necessary, I am Very diligent about checking my sugars. If I feel a little off, the first thing I do is check. Wearing the CGM, I get an idea of how things are, but I always do a glucose check for verification. When pregnant before I would check up to 15 times a day, and now I usually check about 7-10 times a day.

Well tomorrow I begin my first shots...Ganirelix....We'll see how the Estrace continues to make me feel and if this makes me feel any different.

Pump, CGM and First Meds!

Ahhh...an enjoyable weekend, full of good company and some last good cocktails!! Even though the doctors office said I can have a couple of glasses of wine until the retrival, that most likely won't be the case. And I'm hoping that the no cocktail thing will be what's happening for the next 10 months at least! :)

My Animas Insulin pump I wear all the time so it's ready to go. I'm charging my Dexcom CGM (Continuous Glucose Monitor) and will set that up for myself this evening. And the meds are all ready to go. I have to be honest...I'm not so excited about putting on the CGM quite yet. The inaccuracies with the numbers are sometimes so frustrating (outside of the standard 20% variable), that I'd just rather not wear it. But with the "Trend" arrows that it has, that makes it worth wearing. I can see if my sugars are consistent, on a slight increase or decline, or on a rapid increase or decline. I can also set high and low alarms so I know when I'm going out of a certain range. For this reason, I will definitely wear it. I did not have this advantage in my first pregnancy.

I'm starting my first medications tomorrow! So the main stimulation medications do not begin until next week. Right now I am in Calendar #1 of my plan. This means I start certain medications before my monthly cycle. The first medication I begin with tomorrow is Estrace. (orally 2x per day) Now I have to be honest....each medicine that they will have me taking I will be having to look up in some sort of Dictionary or Encyclopedia....(do those still exist!?) Or let's face it...online.;) Now how it is going to help me, I have NO CLUE....cause everything I read online says it has something to do with Menopause or Vaginal dryness....ummm....definitely not in either category! I'm only 33 and don't have the other issue:) I guess the main purpose is to help maintain the endometrial lining? (I am NOT a Doctor...so I don't know for sure)....But this is where I don't know if the medicine will start effecting my blood sugars or no? The day after i start the Estrace I begin Ganirelix. This is medication that will be shots in the AM for 3 days before my cycle...and then 3 more later. What I know about this is that it has something to do with Ovarian stimulation. Once again...I'm not sure if this will effect my sugars or not? I will keep close track of this over the next few days. We're keeping positive thoughts as we know this is the right and best next steps in our attempt to have another child!:)

Preparing myself Physically, Mentally and Financially!

So thinking about all of the hormones I am about to pump into my body, I am trying to start thinking about how my sugars might act and how I'm going to feel. My last A1C was 5.1, so I feel I'm starting off in a great place with that. I finally got back into the rhythm of exercising in 2011, which has helped me to drop my total daily basal levels and the overall amount of insulin I take which has been great! (I'm on an Animas Insulin Pump and I absolutely love it!) But I know I'm needing to exercise at least a minimum of 2-3 times a week...and what is coming up with IVF....Exercise Restriction! As soon as I start month 2 of the IVF cycle plan, it's no bouncing or lifting over 20 lbs....(good thing my daughter knows how to walk!) They say you can do some light walking...but for me and my diabetes, it doesn't help me to maintain the lower levels of insulin.

Let's just say I've been working out like a mad woman since we decided to do IVF! Just to try and prepare myself physically with the hopeful pregnancy to come. 30 min of hardcore cardio, strength training and weight lifting. I figure I should do as much as I can before I have to completely stop. BUT...I have also been trying to get in my last min foods that I know I won't eat if I am pregnant, like the good carb loaded stuff! So though I wanted to lose 5 lbs before it started....I'm just playing a balancing act:) I'm not saying I'll cut out carbs if IVF works...but it won't be as many burritos and pizza.

So no exercise and having to take Steroids throughout the process of IVF....I'm a little freaked out how my body is going to react to everything.  I got them to put me on the lowest dose of steroids, but I went on steroids before when I had my allergic reaction to a medicine Dec 2010, and I could not get my sugars out of the mid 200's and low 300's at times. With that experience, deciding to do IVF has been a bit of an emotional experience. Even though you 100% want and are ready to do this, it can still make you feel stress, worry, anxiety. Am I ready? Can my sugars handle this? Is the stress it's starting to bring effecting my sugars now? Will the meds effect me? Can I handle the stress if IVF doesn't work? Can I handle the stress if we try naturally and it doesn't work again? What has given me some sense of peace is that 1) We've tried naturally for a long time over the past years 2) We tried other things such as Clomid, Acupuncture, Herbs, IUI and HCG shots without success....so maybe it's time for this next step and I should just embrace it....but still there is there impending fear And excitement.

And lastly....the financial preparation. Oy vey! A call from the fertility clinic today...I must seriously be in the wrong profession if I'd like to be making a healthy living!! "Would you like Plan Option #1, #2 or #3?" Plan #1 A Pay For Service Fee....you can submit Only this one to insurance. Plan #2 is a Shared plan...where if it doesn't work and depending on the age range you fall in, you can get a certain percentage of money back. The doctors office "Shares" the responsibility with you. And Plan #3 The option plan...where you can do up to 2 full rounds of IVF for the same cost. It seems so easy to choose Plan #2, but if you don't meet certain criteria, you don't qualify and I am out of range for my FSH. You have to be under 10 and I am 10.7. So I can enter on a "provisional" basis...and if I produce over a certain amount of follicles, I can switch to this plan. Plans #2 and #3 you can't submit to insurance and mind you....they cost a Lot more! So which to choose? We have until the end of the month to decide. Cost is a big decision maker in choosing to do IVF as well. We'll have to figure out what works best for us!

The Journey Begins....Why We Are Chosing IVF

This is a blog about being a Type 1 diabetic, getting pregnant and trying to get pregnant again...and hopefully it will be about being type 1 diabetic throughout pregnancy...everyone's story is a little different and this is me chronicling mine.

When I was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes almost 27 years ago, I didn't at the time quite realize how diabetes would change my life, nor did I think about getting married, or even having children in the future. I just always assumed that because I had Type 1 diabetes, that I probably wouldn't have kids. Way back in the "olden" days, that's what you heard about Type 1 diabetics. I am happy to say that is one of the furthest things from the truth. It IS possible....but it doesn't mean that the path to get there was not and is not frustrating, and the whole process...sheesh! You think pregnancy is tough...add on being pre-gestational diabetic! It's a whole other world of frustration and worry....but it is possible to get through it!

So some people might look at this and think "IVF, that means you must deal with Infertility". In my case, no. My husband and I were diagnosed with "Sub Fertility". Almost 2 years ago I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. But that was after over a year of trying and going through surgery to remove endometriosis from my ovaries and slightly blocked tubes. After the surgery and another 4 months of trying we conceived naturally our beautiful baby girl.  3-4 months after having her we decided to go for the next one. Since that time we had 1 miscarriage (at 9 weeks), which was completely heartbreaking. No, it was devastating to me.

It's been just about a year now with no luck on conceiving again. This is where the doctors tell us that the "Sub Fertility" comes in. Thank goodness for decent medical insurance right now because we have gone through thousands of dollars worth of blood tests, immunology tests and fertility drugs. My FSH is over 10 (10.7 to be exact...and this was tested more than once), my 21 day progesterone is a little low (so they say it would make it hard to sustain a pregnancy) and some of my immunology tests were Mildly off (which means, potentially, that if I am getting pregnant naturally, it's possible that my body might be fighting off the pregnancy....seeing it as a forigen object) And oh yes! To top it off...my blood type is O negative....Rogam here I come! And fertility drugs....*sigh*. Those were even frustrating before I took them! Scared on what they were going to be doing to my insides, how they would make me act, wondering if this is too far out of the relm of not "natural"...and I haven't even gotten to the IVF drugs yet! We started with Clomid...and clomid alone. No success. Then we did another couple of rounds of Clomid with the HCG Trigger shot. (Watch out hormones! My poor husband....I was definitely not "non-emotional" throughout all of these processes). But once again, no success. So after multiple OBGYN's, blood tests, sperm tests and different opinions left and right we have decided to do IVF. Before coming to this decision for sure, we got the opinion of 2 different IVF doctors as well. They both agreed that I have Sub Fertility and that my Follicle count was lower than it should be for somebody my age.  Here is a little time line of how things have gone:

• July 2008- Started tying for a baby
• May 2009- Surgery for Endometriosis
• September 2009- Pregnant!!!!!
• May 2010- Delivered Healthy Baby Girl
• October 2010- Started Acupuncture with herbs
• December 2010-Pregnant
• December 2010- Severe allergic reaction to Medicine after conception
• Feb 2011- Miscarriage at 9 weeks
• August 2011- Begin Clomid 100mg- still doing Acupuncture and herbs throughout all
• September 2011-Tons of blood work. FSH 10.7
• September 2011- up Clomid to 150mg with IUI and HCG Trigger Shot and Progesterone Supplement
• September 2011- OBGYN suggests IVF after we get blood work back
• October 2011- Clomid again with 2 IUI's and 3 HCG trigger shots and Progesterone, Acupuncture and herbs
• October 2011-OBGYN suggests IVF again- have phone consult with IVF doctor
• November 2011- still not pregnant, Obgyn suggest IVF Again
• December 2011- FSH 10.7...Again
• Jan 2012- Still not pregnant...Starting Plan 1 of the IVF process. Still doing Acupuncture and herbs.

Deciding to put myself through the process of IVF, especially because I'm a Type 1 Diabetic, definitely has me freaked out! Hormones, fluctuating sugars, moodiness...is this all what is going to happen to me?! Most importantly, how will this all effect my sugars? Also I wonder, am I just not being patient enough? Because we can get pregnant...we've proved that, but the docs say that with certain blood tests results that came back, failed IUI's, having had surgery for endometriosis, along with having diabetes for so long, that I should just go for it!

So OK, I'm going for it!! I've looked online and have tried to find websites/blogs with more info about being Type 1 diabetic and doing Invitro Fertilization. There are some, but I want to share how these drugs seem to effect me because of my diabetes! They may do nothing at all! But my purpose is to chronicle my fertility journey. I remember some things from before, but this will be a whole new adventure...and like they say, "no two pregnancies are ever the same!". So wish us luck, we start the first shots in about 8 days.... and here we go!!